um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
