real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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