i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
