Dual....:-)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
