that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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