oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
