DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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