i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
