You work out of a Hotel?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
