It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
