theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
