Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
