that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
