oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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