the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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