Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
