i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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