just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
