He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
