i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize