he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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