I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
