This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
