Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
