Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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