Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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