one might say we're banned from that church
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
