Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize