What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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