Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he fucked my hip out of place.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
