Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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