yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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