I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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