just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
