my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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