tell your sister to shave her snatch
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
