just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
