Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
