you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
