hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
