Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
