I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
