he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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