So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize