Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
