We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
