It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize