It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
