i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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