This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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