? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
