Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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