i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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