the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
