I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
