so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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