So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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