Cold hands, warm shart.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
