Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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