Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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