Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
